Honestly, I’m not even on the other side of them, and even I know that the 20s are a very weird place to be. I feel like it encompasses so many different phases of your life within one decade. Think about it: I started my 20s in the middle of my college career having to ask for permission to throw a party in my dorm (just an example) and at the end of it I’ll be beginning my career as an attorney, with the power to make decisions that’ll have a lasting impact on other people’s lives. All f that is to say that your 20s are a roller coaster and the ups and down’s can do a number on your confidence if you’re not actively cultivating and nurturing it. I’m sharing this post on how to build confidence in your 20’s that’s really a “how I built confidence in my 20s” because it’s a process that looks different for everyone. But here a some of the things I do consistently that have helped me build and maintain confidence.
Dancing in the Mirror
Every now and then, a photo dump might include a video of proof that I really spend a lot of time dancing at home alone in the mirror. Besides the fact that I really love music and can’t resist some sort of movement when a good beat drops, I believe doing this has helped me get more comfortable with my body. I think this is especially helpful when I’m trying out outfits for an event or a night out because it helps me get comfortable with moving in what I’ll be wearing. I really don’t know what else to say other than I look like a crazy person at home dancing by myself but it truly helps me feel more confident in myself. Oh, and chances are there is a Beyonce song involved. And we know the effect her music has.
I have nothing to worry about or fear, simply because God is.
Reading my Bible
So much of what I doubted about myself and who I am was immediately set aside when I took some time to read up on what God had to say about me. If you want to talk about words of affirmation as a love language, I’m here to say that God is the OG on that. Any time I am feeling unsure of myself I am so comforted by the fact that I can call on numerous reminders of how I have nothing to worry about or fear, simply because God is.
Flying Solo
I know it seems like a case of the chicken and the egg to say doing things alone helps me build confidence. Because you might be thinking “well it takes confidence to do that.” But sometimes you learn to swim by diving into the deep end. I found that by taking more time to do things by myself, I got to know more of the things that I actually like. And I believe that confidence starts at the place where you know yourself and can trust your judgment. So whether it is going on a solo trip or date or taking yourself out to the movies or simply sitting in a park by yourself on a nice day, I highly encourage you to take more time to yourself as a part of building your confidence.
Repeat after me: it does not matter and no one cares.
Random reminders
My random reminders are similar to words of affirmation but more practical. It is so incredibly easy to get overwhelmed with anxieties about what other people think of you or how it’ll be perceived and I truly have to remind myself that “literally no one cares as much as you do.” All the thoughts running through your mind about what other people think, aren’t really other people as much as it is you. Like how you’re the only one who will really remember the outfit you wore or the style that you did because you’re the only one so worried about yourself. I know, it’s a humbling feeling but it is a necessary one to keep. But once I keep that perspective and have that understanding that it’s just me overthinking it becomes so much easier to stop holding myself back from being my most confident self. Repeat after me: it does not matter and no one cares.
That’s it for this shortlist, but there are so many other things that can get added because the journey to being your most confident self is never-ending. I hope you continue to take some time to work on you!
“So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?'” Hebrews 13: 6
