New York has always been home for me. I was born and raised in Queens, and after college graduation, it’s where I moved back to. Coming back home however was bittersweet because all of the friends that I had grown and developed over the years, were living in cities across the country. I found myself at a place where although I was back in the city I’ve known my whole life, I had none of my closest friends there with me. I found myself working to maintain what I am going to call long distance friendships. Looking back, my friendships have grown to be even stronger through the years and that’s why I’m sharing what you can do to make your long distance friendship last!
Establish Routines
Consistency is key. Since you don’t have the luxury of catching up in person, establish some routine questions or times to check in. I like to ask “what are we all doing to take care of ourselves this weekend?” at the start of the weekend to both check in on my friends wellbeing and start up conversation about whatever it is we have going on in our lives. Maintaining consistency through routines can make it easier to hold each other accountable for putting effort into the friendship. Just be sure to find whatever works for you!
Maintaining consistency through routines can make it easier to hold each other accountable for putting effort into the friendship.
Make Concrete Plans To See Each Other
I’m sure this applies to long distance romantic relationships as well. Give yourselves a chance to experience a reunion. Whether it’s with the whole entire crew Your options are either to make plans to visit the other in their home city or, my personal favorite, travel to a new city together! Last July I had the best trip ever and this year my friend and I are trying to solidify another trip. More passport stamps please!
Overcompensate on Communication
When you’re friend lived in the same city as you, it could be possible that you don’t have to rely heavily on texts or phone calls to stay in contact. You can afford to keep that communication minimal and just make plans to catch up over a meal. If anything that’s probably easier than typing everything out on your screen. But when your friend lives a train, bus or even plane ride away, there’s no need to hold back. My biggest tip is to text even if/when you don’t get an immediate response.
I know they won’t be able to respond immediately or even within the week. I get that.
Life is busy. I think we all know that by now. So for my friends in grad school experiencing the stress of midterm or finals seasons, I know they won’t be able to respond immediately or even within the week. I get that. That certainly doesn’t hold me back from sending text messages as they come to mind. I’m patient enough to know that when they have a chance, they’ll respond and we’ll pick up right where we left off. No hard feelings.
Final Thoughts
While this post was primarily about maintaining long distance friendships with people in other cities, do not be afraid to meet new people in your own city! Find events related to your interests. There, you’ll be sure to meet like minded people that are usually willing to connect.
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20
