Recently I’ve done a lot of reflection on what I want the years of my 20s to look like. The goals I want to achieve, the places I want to see, even the types of people I want to be around. But I found myself waiting on others to make moves on some of these plans. Perhaps its the nature of social media that makes us feel like we shouldn’t do anything on our own. But also, at a time when housing costs are sky high, young people are delaying living on their own for practical reasons. That’s definitely no fault of ours but it can still go to show how we can become used to not doing things alone.
If you think about it, there are already a number of activities we do on our own that we don’t even think twice about. Take shopping or your daily commute for instance. Maybe we enjoy some company when do these things, but we certainly don’t depend on others’ presence to do that. So I’ve finally decided that time’s up on this waiting game. There are a number of situations where I should act on my own instead of waiting around for someone to join me.
Travel
Looking back on my college experiences, I definitely wish I sought more travel opportunities. Now that I’m a teacher with a number of breaks throughout the year, traveling is still possible. But since none of my closest friends share the same profession they also don’t have the exact same availability for travel. If I wait for my schedule to align with my friends’, I may be waiting for years to go on my next adventure. And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to wait that long.
If I wait for some time when my schedule aligns with those of my friends, I may be waiting for years to go on my next travel adventure.
I’m not going to lie, snapping pics was another excuse I gave myself for not traveling solo but I recently invested in a tripod and other equipment that make self-portraits more feasible. I can still get some dope pics on a solo trip! Also let’s be real–I don’t have a spouse or kids so my responsibility list is pretty short right now. I can’t say that’ll be the case in 10-15 years. So considering all of this and that fact that solo travel is trending these days I’m asking myself “where to next?”
Network
Ever since I started blogging, I’ve learned that meeting other bloggers is one of the best ways to get solid advice and exposure. Lucky for me in New York City there are plenty of different events going on where I can do this. But when you don’t necessarily have other close friends interested in blogger events, it can mean that I have to get comfortable going alone. That’s totally fine! In the past couple of months, I’ve branched out of my comfort zone to attend some events solo. The verdict: I haven’t regretted it once. Even if I don’t meet as many people as I would like (because who am I kidding– networking is stressful), I still gain some sort of advice and encouragement that’s useful as I try to grow my platform!
Date
You may think I’m a little crazy if I think that I don’t need someone else to go on a date with me. First, I’m not crazy! And second, you really don’t need someone else. But let me explain.
When I say dates I don’t necessarily mean romantic. We really do go on dates with friends and family members even if we don’t call it that. Most of the activities we do on dates, romantic or platonic, are fun an exciting ways to pass time. You may try a new restaurant, check out a museum, see a new movie, go to a spa..the list is endless.
Granted I’ve come a long way from the college freshman afraid to ever eat alone in the dining hall.
I’ve just come to accept that I don’t always need someone else there to go on dates. In fact, sometimes I want to do them alone. Granted I’ve come a long way from the college freshman afraid to ever eat alone in the dining hall. We thank God for growth. After all you don’t need to wait for someone else to treat yourself. Not only that but you learn so much about yourself and build a level of confidence when you carve out take time to roll solo. If you haven’t taken time in the last few months to deliberately plan an activity just for yourself, you may want to reconsider.
Text First
Alright so I know the last topic wasn’t exclusively about romantic relationships and this one is, at least for me. Our generation loves to play this game of “text me first so I know it’s real”. Don’t get me wrong, it sucks when it feels like a romantic interest isn’t putting in the same level of effort into communication as you are. I’m not one to stay where it feels like I’m not wanted. But I’m also super tired of the mind games and the constant reliance on someone else to make a first move on something as simple as a 20 character text. I’m just starting to think it’s not that serious.
I’m also super tired of the mind games and the constant reliance on someone else to make a first move on something as simple as a 20 character text.
The same applies to friendships. Face it, with everything that happens in life, we don’t keep up with everyone as much as we wish we could. Sometimes we have those moments where friends we haven’t spoken to in a while pop into our minds. If that happens, just shoot them a text. Instead of years down the line rehashing everything that went wrong with a series of fake smiles and statements like “you didn’t reach out to me so I didn’t reach out to you”. Nip it in the bud right now so at least there’s proof that you tried.
That’s a list of the top things that I’m no longer waiting on others to do. What are some things that you want to commit to trying solo or at least taking the lead on? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Teal Satin Top from PrettyLittleThing | H&M Jeans | Shoes/Belt via my Mom’s Closet
