It’s time for another Q&A! I normally keep these on my Instagram stories, but I’ve decided to start bi-monthly Q&As on the blog for a couple of reasons. For one, it’s easier to direct someone to these posts in the future as opposed to IG stories which disappear after 24 hours, or highlights which are slightly harder to access than a blog post. Second, here, I have more way space to give a comprehensive answer. Finally, can you blame a girl for trying to drive up views on her blog? No? Ok then that’s settled!

For this month’s Q&A, I was able to discuss a wide range of topics from an update on my relationship status and law school advice, all the way skincare and workout tips. I tried to be concise but I don’t think that worked out at all. So feel free to scroll to the subsection that’s of most interest to you, or you can just read the entire thing to get a glimpse into life for me lately!

Skin 

“How do you combat textured skin?”

First and foremost, for anyone seeking advice on their skin, my first recommendation would be to see a dermatologist or esthetician. Obviously, given the current circumstances we are in, it may not be possible to do that. I want to acknowledge that it’s hard to know for sure what is causing your skin to have an uneven texture, but if and when I experience uneven skin texture, my first steps are usually to increase my water intake, exfoliate, and (continue to) wear SPF.

Hydrating makes the skin look and feel smoother so that’s why I’d drink more water (and also to be honest I could always afford to drink more water.) I exfoliate because uneven skin texture, is likely caused by clogged pores and a build up of dead skin cells. Finally, I wear SPF because, well, I always should, but also because sun damage contributes to uneven skin texture.

If and when I experience uneven skin texture, my first steps are usually to increase my water intake, exfoliate, and (continue to) wear SPF.

When I say exfoliate, I’m talking about chemical exfoliants. These are going to be the products with AHA or BHAs.  You can find AHAs and BHAs in across all types of skincare products from masks to toners and serums. Be careful though! You probably shouldn’t exfoliate more than 2-3 times a week. Here are a couple of the exfoliating products I’ve turned to before and recommend:

• Farmacy Beauty Honeymoon Glow 
• Peach & Lily Super Reboot Resurfacing Mask 
• Krave Beauty Kale-lalu-yAHA
• Paula’s Choice 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant 
• Dermalogica Daily Microfoliant 
• REN Steady Glow Daily AHA Toner 

Health & Fitness 

“How do you stay motivated to workout?”

Luckily I’ve dedicated a full blog post to answering this question in the past. All of the points in that post still apply. I do want to reiterate though that for me, results motivate me the most. I’m a big proponent of documenting my “journey”, though I wouldn’t call it a journey as much as I’d call it a lifestyle. My “check out” boomerangs on Instagram may seem obnoxious to some, but because Instagram automatically archives my story posts, I can scroll back and see how I looked weeks and months ago (without taking up storage space on my phone). Seeing those results make it easier for me to mentally prepare for the next workout. My public posts also built a small community of accountability. In short, I take pictures and videos to remind myself of progress I’ve made and can still make.

 Because Instagram automatically archives my story posts, I can scroll back and see how I looked weeks and months ago

On another level, I stay motivated to work out because I’ve shifted my perspective. Especially as I’ve hit my mid 20s, maintaining an active lifestyle has been less about looks and more about my future. I workout because, to the extent that I can control it, I want to live a long, healthy, and pain free life. I workout because I don’t want to be a burden to a spouse or children in the long run. I workout because the American health care system is too complex and racist for me to want to interact with it any more than I need to. Perspective is key. So when I think about it this way, it’s a lot easier to workout because I know in large part, the quality of my life depends on it.

“Have you found any good nutrition plans?”

I’ve gone back and forth on how I feel about nutrition plans. But I’ve settled on the fact that I don’t care for nutrition plans or dieting as much as I care making nutritious choices. I’ve been there. I’ve been the person to be vegetarian in an effort to lose weight. Did it work? Yes. Did I feel healthy? Absolutely not. In some ways, doing so enabled an unhealthy relationship with food (read: I wasn’t eating enough.) I try not to deprive myself and I found that a lot of meal plans make me do just that. So instead I’ve focused on making smaller adjustments that lead to healthier choices. Some examples include switching out cow’s milk for almond milk, cutting out frosted flakes in exchange for Special K (trust me I loved me some Frosted Flakes), and cooking with whole wheat pasta, just to name a few.

Now, that being said, I can say that the one meal plan I was on that definitely jump started my more nutritional eating choices was created by Manissa Montour (@nissafit). Her fitness program was the easiest for me to follow and was realistic for me at the time, seeing as Manissa is also a black woman in her 20s.

Law School

“What type of law are you looking to practice? And when/how did you know?”

The very short answer is I don’t know. I think many law students come into law school thinking they know what they want to practice. Largely because submitting a law school application kind of forces you to have an understanding of why you want to go to law school. But for many people that can change. However, I can say that I realized I didn’t know what I wanted practice once I started becoming more aware of all the things I could do with a JD. There is much more to lawyering than being the criminal prosecutor or defense attorney you see on primetime TV. I’ve always been one to be very attached to a rigid plan, so lately I’ve been excited to grant myself the space to be fine with not knowing.

“Do you recommend taking a couple of years off before applying to Columbia Law?”

I recommend doing what’s best for you. Everyone has a different decision to make and a different set of factors to consider. Deciding whether to attend law school right now, in the middle of a pandemic, must surely look and feel different from the decision I had to make a couple of years ago. For a more detailed answer on how I knew when it was right for me to apply to law school, check out this post.

“From an incoming JD going to a T14: biggest tip for cutting cost of attendance/getting aid? I’m terrified of debt.”

Unfortunately, I don’t know if I have any helpful tips beyond trying to negotiate aid (which I’m not too familiar with.)  If you’ve exhausted all your options, I’d say be on the lookout for scholarship opportunities that may be released during the year. The debt is certainly daunting but I’d suggest the best you can do is keep that in mind as you consider summer and post-grad employment opportunities.

More law school related questions 

Shortly before publishing this blog post, I got some more questions about law school. I don’t want to ignore them, so I’m acknowledging them here: Can you describe law school testing? How can one be able to live a decent life/have income while in law school? How can you balance a social life and law school? How to study for the LSAT? Answering these posts would warrant an entirely new blog post or Youtube video, so instead I’m going to direct you to an EXCELLENT Youtube channel created by two black women who attended Columbia Law. I found their videos highly resourceful and insightful, and it’s very likely they’ve answered many if not all of these questions already!

Life

Tips for “Maintaining mental health through transitions”?

This is a very important question, as transition to new cities, jobs, and schools can have the potential to destabilize or at the very least shake up our worlds. I’ve shared what made the transition to law school easier for me in this post, and I think a lot of the points in that post help address this question.

Dating

“In dating, how do you discern that someone is worth your time and worth investing in?”

In a way, you’ve included the answer in your question: you discern. So then the real question here becomes “how do you gain discernment?” Discernment comes from wisdom, and I can’t speak for you, but I know that in my life, God is the only true source of wisdom, most especially when it comes to relationships. However, if you think about it, discernment doesn’t just apply to relationships. You really do need discernment in every aspect of your life whether you’re deciding something is big as your next career move, or a small detail like what route to take to work each day.

It requires building a genuine and deeper relationship with God.

But going back to dating, if I know myself and know that my ultimate goal is to be in a lifelong partnership that is both God given and ordained, I have to seek and consult Him throughout every step of the process. So to be clear, wisdom, in its truest form, isn’t going to come from getting older or going through heartbreak, nor is it going to come from the dating bloggers and Instagram accounts —it comes from God. It requires building a genuine and deeper relationship. However, if you didn’t come here looking for a mini-sermon (what can I say? You asked and I answered) I will leave you some low hanging fruit: I know someone isn’t even worth my time if our morals and values don’t align.

“Where did you meet bae?” “How did you and your boyfriend meet?”

Since I got two questions pertaining to my current relationship, I figure it’s only right that I address this now. I’ve written many posts on my dating experiences. I’ve shared why I was never in a rush to be in a relationship, how I’ve changed my approach to dating, why it’s been difficult to be direct with men I’m not into, and even my struggles dating as a Christian. However, as you can imagine, there are limitations on what I’m willing to share on a forum as public as this blog. On its face, these questions that I received might seem harmless and easy to answer, but they stand to open the floodgates for more questions about my current relationship. Right now, my relationship is a topic I am not willing to discuss. I’m certainly not a celebrity, nor am I someone with a massive platform or following, however I believe that the more people you share details with, the more commentary you invite into the relationship. “But she who controls her lips and keeps thoughtful silence is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19). If the time comes to share more than I have already, I will.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1: 5

#EniGivenSunday