The title is self explanatory so I am going to cut straight to the chase. Here are five of the biggest adulting myths:
1. Dating Gets Easier/HarderĀ
There are plenty of people who leave college in a scramble to enter a relationship. Why? For some, there is a notion that dating get significantly harder. On the other hand, there are some people who might feel like breaking out from a small campus and into a new city may spruce up the dating scene a bit. From my experience, neither are true. Instead of dating getting easier or harder, focus on the fact that the nature of it simply changes. The age pool of dates suddenly widen when you’ve graduated college. Instead of counting on meeting people through student organizations or weekend parties, you meet people through mutual friends, happy hours, the gym, day parties and brunches, your church, honestly anywhere. Taking all of this into account, there are way too many factors at play to simple state that dating gets easier or harder after college.
2. You Don’t Make Many New Friends
Whenever anyone asks me if I liked my Harvard experience, I say yes but I always follow up with “because I had a solid, core group of friends”. The experience of being a Black woman at Harvard is a very unique one. When you throw in the memories, inside jokes, and everything in between, plus the fact that I’ve got friends from AKA, high school, church, and other educational programs I’ve been apart of, it was easy for me to feel like I had pretty much made all of the friends I would make in life. When I say it like that, it sounds kind of silly to even think of, I know. Still, I’ve come to realize that as long as you are open to it, and assuming other people are as well, you can rekindle old friendships and start plenty of new ones. You just have to put yourself out there and assume best intentions!
Also on the flip side, don’t think that you won’t lose friends. It happens. Some people aren’t meant to be in your life forever. It doesn’t always even have to be drama or beef. It might just take real life issues to show you that your values and goals aren’t aligned. That’s fine too. Go find other people who actually get you.
3. You’ll Rely On Your Parents Less
For those fortunate enough to still have parents with us after college graduation, there can be this idea that once you’ve moved out of the nest for good, you’ll figure it out on your own. Yes, you’ll learn to be more independent than before, as you should. But let’s be honest, a lot of millennials, including myself, are moving back home post grad to save money. Should I also mention the fact that some are still under their parents’ health insurance. There’s absolutely no shame there. For me, I’ve found myself taking in some of my mother’s wisdom before I fully embark on a next stage in life. While you may not be as dependent on your parents financially, you’ll rely on their guidance as long as possible. That’s why they are here!
4. What You Studied In College Won’t MatterĀ
We’ve all heard of the person who studied English in college but went into Investment Banking or Accounting. The Biology major that became a consultant. The Economics major that was premed. Or even me, the government and sociology double major that became a U.S. history teacher. Yes, the actual subject you studied in college won’t hinder you from getting a job in a a seemingly unrelated field. However I disagree when people go as far as to say that what you studied won’t matter. What you study determines the level and style of writing you do on a consistent basis. It’ll frame your thinking and the way through which you view situations and how you approach solving problems. As a teacher, there are so many experiences that I know could make for a thought provoking sociology paper because that’s the lens through which I view interactions with my students and coworkers. No, you won’t have to write a paper on everything you experience at work, but just know that what you study impacts your frame of thinking.
5. A College Degree Is A Reflection Of Your Competence
This one is somewhat connected to the last one. Just to be very clear, just because someone made it through college, and maybe even graduated with some form of honors, does not mean they are competent. Let me rephrase that: there are plenty of incompetent people in the work force. I don’t mean to sound shady or even try to gas myself up. But to be brutally honest, there are many people who relied on performance enhancing drugs (without needing the prescription), had the money to hire tutors or retake classes for a higher grade, or just downright cheated to get their degree. Even besides that, the skills required to earn a college degree don’t always match up with the skills needed at a job. Communication skills, problem solving, effective decision making, all of these are skills that you need more and more as you grow up. Having a college degree alone won’t cut it honey. And on the flip side, not having a college degree doesn’t mean you are incompetent.
Final Thoughts
I feel like that was a lot packed into this post, so I don’t have too many final thoughts to share! But let me know if any of this resonates with you or if you know of an adulting myth that simply isn’t true!
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” I Corinthians 13:11
