If you couldn’t already tell from the slew of Instagram and Tik Tok posts that announced it (or if you don’t already follow me on those platforms which you should) this past weekend was my five-year Harvard College reunion. I know it sounds so cliche, but I truly cannot believe five years have come and gone just like that. It always feels like a cliche to say that though, because no matter how “fast” the past five years have been, the truth is we’ve lived through every single moment of it. So I’m taking the chance to reflect on the past five years—where I am now, where I thought I would be, and where I hope to go next
On Career
If there is any area of my life that I had clearly set goals for by my 5-year reunion it was my career. I knew it as clear a day that by the time I return for my five-year reunion I should have just graduated law school. And we did just that, and with academic honors too at that. Looking back at my first post-grad job, I think I can acknowledge I had much more insecurity about the position I was taking on than I liked to let myself believe. I had wanted to move to a different city just to get the experience but ended up only getting job offers in New York. I had wanted to work at a law firm, but only got an offer to become a teacher. None of my close college friends were going into public service jobs, and it wasn’t really something I envisioned for myself. But of course, the destination stayed the same regardless, and while I won’t bog you down with every single detail, I can say for sure that everything happened for a reason.
Because one thing I know about myself is that if I say it—if I set the goal—I will achieve it.
One of those reasons is the other part of my “career” that took off almost immediately after I graduated college: this blog and social media content creation. Now that is something that I truly did not envision for myself and it has been the most pleasant surprise until a college friend I caught up with gently reminded me of a random evening when we were hanging out. He told me that he remembered the time that he watched me do my makeup from start to finish and was enamored by how much detail and effort went into what was truly an art form. (Mind you at the time I had minimal products and practically no knowledge of makeup application skills and techniques as I know them today.) And then he told me that as I sat and watched YouTube videos of my favorite beauty gurus, I said I believed that I too could do this. That I had what it took to become like them. I honestly don’t even recall saying as much as that, but I believe it. Because one thing I know about myself is that if I say it—if I set the goal—I will achieve it. But also the lesson here is to be careful what you speak into existence because it just might happen for you.
On Friendships
I’ve always been a pretty transient person and it showed in my friendships. Never quite having a solid friend group, I picked up one or two of the closest friendships I had from each phase of my life, which have snowballed into the people I know and love today. But I’m so grateful for the fact that some of the closest friendships I have today did not come until after college. I love that for me and I love my friends dearly—no matter the stage in my life that I met them. But if you are worried that you’re ending college without having found your “people” yet, know that there is still hope.
On Romance
At times it feels like my romantic life has been like a script of your favorite drama with the Black woman protagonist balancing all parts of her life while dealing with the realities of dating as a successful dark-skinned Black woman (Mary Jane Paul on Being Mary Jane and Molly on Insecure I’m lowkey looking at you.) The men I’ve interacted with over the past five years could each take up their own episodes or entire seasons in the series that is my life, with lessons to be taken from each. There were some huge firsts: love and heartbreak. And there were also lots of decent dates and efforts to let go of toxic traits.
I take comfort in knowing that it genuinely is not a pressure that I even put on myself as a 22-year-old fresh out. of college.
But funny enough when I look back on all the things I envisioned for myself as a college grad looking ahead to her five-year reunion, I never had given much thought to where a man or a romantic relationship would factor in. I can’t sit here and pretend that I had imagined myself to be married, engaged, or even in a relationship because I just did not think about that at all. There’s no denying the fact that I’m at an age where people start to put pressure on women to find love and marriage, but I take comfort in knowing that it genuinely is not a pressure that I even put on myself as a 22-year-old fresh out of college. And I don’t have plans to start putting that pressure on me now. I will absolutely continue to keep my heart and mind open to new relationships, but nothing is stopping me from living my best life now.
On Wellness
This time of life is probably the most consciously happy that I have been. I have made conscious efforts to pour into myself in many ways, from journaling and working out consistently to reading my bible and having genuine talks with God about everything and anything. And as a result, my confidence has reached new heights and it’s palpable. The moral of the story here is to invest time in and with yourself.
Overall
The past five years were honestly a baby growth phase. And by that I mean I feel like it was laying the foundation for a lot of what’s to come in the next five. I got another degree and secured a full-time job as a lawyer. I started a journey as a content creator and signed to my dream agency. I’m excited to see what (and who) is to come in the next five years when I potentially return to Cambridge for my 10th-year reunion.
When you think back to who you were in college, what differences and similarities do you see?
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
