If you had told me a year ago that I would be starting a blog, I probably would have laughed in your face. I consider myself to be relatively private individual and the world of blogging seems to be the exact opposite of that privacy that I am accustomed to. Never mind the fact that I just didn’t think I’d have that much to say.
I know now—more than ever actually—that a lot can change in a year. A year ago, I graduated from college and moved back home to start my first full time job as a teacher. I traded the routines of daily conversations in the dining hall, occasional all nighters, and more than occasional off campus turn ups for the all too familiar routines of household chores (yes, even at 22) and Sundays at church with family.
And it was those Sundays at church that I missed the most about being home.
I’ve always been a person of faith but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never stumbled on my walk. During college I was very inconsistent when it came to maintaining a strong relationship with God. Looking back I’d say this inconsistency manifested itself through my character.
I had initially built this perception that without God, my life would roll into some massive series of tragedies, trials and tribulations.Don’t get me wrong, I certainly still believe this to be true but quite frankly–and thank God– I didn’t face any massive “tragedies” during undergrad when my relationship with Him was weaker. Instead, looking back, I see that I wasn’t always the person who exuded love and light into the world around me. Without Him I wasn’t the best person that I could be to others. I wasn’t the best version of myself.
I’m thankful for the realization that I seek God not only because He is the light of my life but also because through Him I can learn how to be a light to others.
I still spend Sundays at church for all of the reasons associated with building and strengthening my relationship with God but these Sundays were also a welcomed opportunity for me to experiment with new styles and different outfits. Although my college wardrobe consisted mainly of leggings, boots and sweatshirts, deep in my heart I knew I missed the “dress up” culture that I grew up around as a New Yorker. I found more and more joy in not only the comfort of being at church but also documenting my outfits after services on Instagram. Thanks the creative thinking of a friend, my #sundaystyle posts turned into #EniGivenSunday.
#EniGivenSunday is rooted in my return home–my return back to church and my recommitment to seeking God in everything that I do.
At 23, I can confidently say that I’m still getting to know myself. But here are a few things about myself that I’ve known for a while: I’m a relatively private person, I’m not spontaneous, and I hate the feeling of being new. Everything I just claimed to be true about myself, I now realize was rooted in either fear or a lack of faith. My lack of spontaneity is rooted in a belief that I should always stick to the plans that I make. Being a private person was my excuse to not publicly declare the goodness of God in my life, and my fear of newness was embedded in a lack of faith in the fact that all things are truly working for my good. It wasn’t until I came to this realization that I finally let go of whatever fears and anxieties I had about blogging.
I’m a relatively private person, I’m not spontaneous, and I hate the feeling of being new.
Needless to say I decided to start blogging in the spirit of seeking change and taking risks. I still don’t know if I have much to say or if I’ll say it as eloquently as the myriads of other experienced bloggers out there. But I do know that good things happen when I put God first and that I’m pleasantly surprised when I’m pushed outside of my comfort zone… and believe me when I say this blog will do just that.
Oh Polly Midi Dress | Forever 21 Earrings
